I remember when our youngest child was in driver’s training, and as he practiced driving in his momma’s car, I kept reminding him about the blind spots. I would instruct him that you can’t drive safely if you aren’t aware that you have blind spots in every vehicle. Then I pointed out to him that it was his job to discover where those blind spots were at and his responsibility to make the necessary adjustments.
Similar to each vehicle that we drive, we too have blind spots in our identity and character. And it’s still our job to discover what they are and it’s our responsibility to make the necessary adjustments if we are going to travel through this life and our relationships in the healthiest and safest way possible.
CAUTION: If we continue to live with our blind spots, we will always feel insecure and hesitant. Not to mention, the ignorance of our blind spots could be damaging to ourselves or others. What if we are causing pain, embarrassment, discomfort, or even avoidance of spending time together? How sad that we are unaware of it. But even sadder is that we don’t have the option to make changes because we aren’t even aware of them yet.
NOTE: While these blind spots are unknown to us, they are apparent to others.
Facing our blind spots has the potential to breed confidence. It is an amazing thing to become aware of a personal weakness, choose to grow in this area, make intentional changes, and experience the difference those changes make. This confidence gives us the courage to grow as a person and address even more areas in order to navigate through our lives and relationships far more maturely and effectively.
“So, how do I find out what some of my blind spots are when I can’t see them?”
I’ve been waiting for you to ask that.
You go to those who know you best. (Remember that your blind spots are visible to others.)
You go with a teachable heart and ask those who are closest to you to help you become aware of your blind spots. Here are some possible questions to use as you ask for honest feedback:
- Are you aware of any of my habits that could be perceived as annoying to others?
- What are my prejudices?
- As I interact with people, how do I usually leave others feeling? Respected, valued, subservient, invisible, incompetent, etc.?
- Where am I most inconsistent in my behavior?
- What do you see as my 3 greatest character traits?
- What 3 areas of weakness would you suggest I work on?
- What strengths do you perceive that I have but I am not using or exploring or growing in?
Once you get the feedback —
1) Have a soft heart & open ears. If you are like me, you will need to ask God for this. Ask the Holy Spirit to protect you from becoming defensive and justifying yourself for each of the answers cited. Make sure you communicate your genuine thanks to each person who took the time to help you grow by giving you an assessment.
2) Choose 1-2 blind spots that you want to change or grow in. Share them with one trusted person who would be good at keeping you accountable to your desired growth.
3) Make a plan. Without intentionality, you will have wasted all the effort and time taken so far. Write down two specific and measurable steps you can take to address your blind spot. (If you have chosen two to work on, do this for each.) Make yourself accountable for your plan.
*If this is too challenging for you to do on your own, then incorporate your accountability partner to help you with steps #2 and #3.
My prayer is that in the very near future you will be able to say, “I WAS blind, but NOW I see, and I have CHANGED!”